At Last

The first time I didn’t quite see Obama in person.

The first time I didn’t quite see Obama in person, I spent the night alternately watching election returns and feverishly vomiting the full contents of my stomach. It was there, in the Nashua South High School gym, where the then-senator was set to give his “Yes We Can” speech after he lost the New Hampshire primary, that I thought it was all over for both of us. Just half an hour before Obama spoke, I finally succumbed to the flu and passed out while a. . . Read more
Mitch Reich
Classifieds, Nov. 5, 2008

The morning after.

Conserva-T’s Apparel seeks designer for retro “There are Republicans in New England” fall line. For consideration, please submit CV, samples of previous work, and proof of NRA membership. Republican party seeks trained professionals for constructing machine to un-nominate Sarah Palin for Vice President. Desired skills include particle physics, knowledge of time travel, denial. Experienced event planner needed immediately (before ballot-initiative season) in Massachusetts for stoned gay wedding at defunct greyhound track. Immediate opening: General Store, Liberty, TX. We are a small, primarily white (not racist!),. . . Read more
Liz Deutsch
The Book of Goldman

And so it came to pass in the city of Manhattan.

And so it came to pass in the city of Manhattan that a plague fell upon the largest of the houses of investment banking, such that they turned to dust or became deformed. The plague struck first the house of the brothers Lehman, and destroyed it. Then came it to the house of Merrill Lynch, called Merrill, and did not destroy it, but made it weak; and the elders of that house sought relief from the plague, and they placed themselves and all of their. . . Read more
Dara Lind
Jonathan Edwards Students, We Salute You

We have compiled some missives…

On August 27th, 2008, hundreds of young Yale men and women returned to New Haven to find a home. Instead, like sinners in the hands of an angry God, they found a place of turmoil. Some lost power, some lost boxes, and some were even exiled to the cold halls of the Omni Hotel, far from friends and frat parties. To each proud Spider who bravely stayed on campus, who wakes up each morning to the pounding of construction, and who sleeps cold and dirty. . . Read more
Staff
Real to Reel

Trying out for The Real World.

At 10 a.m. on February 15, precocious teenagers and under-employed young adults from across Connecticut began to convene en masse in front of New Haven’s BAR restaurant. Most of the women seemed to have applied Sephora’s entire make-up and perfume inventory prior to the pilgrimage. Some fumbled in handbags for tissues, while others smoked pink and turquoise packs of Camel ultralights. The fur protruding from their coats was on par with the décor of a Ukrainian hunting lodge. The smattering of men compensated for their. . . Read more
Ben Lasman
The Rhodes Warrior

Like many Yale students, I like money.

Like many Yale students, I like money. Unfortunately, also like many Yale students, I’ve spent my college career reading books from an age when money was probably denominated in seashells or salt. Short on marketable skills, I’ve spent most of my senior year trying to convince rich people to hand me money for no good reason. For those of you who are facing the same problem before graduation, I suggest my latest get-rich-quick scheme: the Rhodes Scholarships. The Rhodes Scholarships are just one of the. . . Read more
Matthew Lee
Virus Scan

WebMD’s on-line Symptom Checker.

My Sunday morning began as it usually does: I woke up with a splitting headache, a strange rash, and not the faintest idea of how I might have gotten to be that way. I failed to improve even after several cups of coffee and a cold shower, and a lack of incriminating Facebook photos suggested that the previous evening was not responsible for my condition. For once, I was sick in more than just the vague, existential sense. Rather than make the long walk to. . . Read more
Matthew Lee
Indian Summer

Some facts and figures.

Age at which I read my first novel about India: 10 Subsequent number of novels about India I have read: 22 Number of months spent planning my trip to India: 9 Percentage of parents’ friends claiming to know someone in India who would either employ or shelter me: 32 Pre-departure visits to Yale Travel Clinic: 5 Number of malaria pills purchased: 82 Number of guide books purchased: 3 Number of times the word “microfinance” appeared in my fellowship application essay: 9 Extent of my knowledge. . . Read more
Nicole Allan
Bard-Hopping

The all-night Shakespeare festival in Linsley-Chittenden Hall.

It is one a.m. at the all-night Shakespeare festival in Linsley-Chittenden Hall. Shakespeare enthusiasts abound, grouped in rooms according to dramatic genre: historic, tragic, comedic, miscellaneous. Enter Ben Lasman, Nick Handler, and Ali Seitz, armed with notebooks. Scene i: Ben Lasman, journalistic rogue. By 1:30, only two people remain in the Miscellaneous room. One, his face engulfed by the Collected Works of William Shakespeare, recites “Sonnet 152” in a stentorian tone. His partner stands at attention, book in hand, like a tag-team wrestler primed to. . . Read more
Ben Lasman Nick Handler and Ali Seitz
Table Tents au jus

“The Bourbon Reds, like the Black Spanish, Blue Slate, and Royal Palm, are heritage breeds… they are small birds, with a juicy texture and rich, complex flavors.”—YSFP, “Turkeys”

“The Bourbon Reds, like the Black Spanish, Blue Slate, and Royal Palm, are heritage breeds… they are small birds, with a juicy texture and rich, complex flavors.” —YSFP, “Turkeys” The Yale Sustainable Food Project, a new branch of Yale dining services, believes in good food, food that nourishes the finest minds of New England. From the fabled Berkeley test ovens to the sprawling basement kitchens of Commons, YSFP fertilizes a community in which the delectable pleasures of growing, cooking, and eating food are woven into. . . Read more
Jonny Dach